Transforming Communication

Reduce stress by taking new perspective

Defuse conflicts & create harmony

Improve relationships & feel more relaxed

Positive change begins with effective communication.

Our Communication Skills course is an engaging and practical course designed to improve how you interact with others. You will engage in hands-on, skills-based activities designed to improve the quality of your relationships, giving you the ability to:

  • Build rapport quickly and easily
  • Resolve difficulties and meet outcomes
  • Respect needs and co-operate
  • Resolve conflict 
  • Create solutions
  • Influence successfully
  • Increase resourcefulness
  • Listen and speak effectively

Improve Your Communications - Achieve Your Potential!

Unlock your potential in four days, or nine 3-hour sessions, with our Communication Skills course. Our training delivers leading-edge skills to enhance co-operation and resolve conflict. Drawing on the teachings of Dr Richard Bolstad and following John Gottman's relationship research, we use the conflict resolution model and NLP-based, solution-focused effectiveness training to provide you with the right communication tools, and the awareness of when to use them!

Improve the quality of your relationships, open yourself up to new opportunities and unlock your hidden potential. Discover the power of truly effective communication! 

Click here for information on the next course.

Why do I need communication skills training?

Research on coaching was carried out by The Graduate School of Business at Stanford in 2013.  A study of more than 200 CEO’s, board directors and senior executives of North American public and private companies were polled in the 2013 Executive Coaching survey.  One of the key findings from the survey concluded that handling conflict ranks as the highest area of concern for CEO’s.  Nearly 43% of CEO’s rated conflict management skills the highest area of concern and one of the top priorities for senior staff to be competent in.  How are your conflict management skills?  And when did you last refresh your communication skills toolbox? 

What’s in it for you:

  • Improve the quality of your relationships in all areas of your life
  • Reduce your stress - you'll find you have skills and tools to successfully deal with any situation
  • Save time - no more worrying about tricky situations
  • Quickly understand other people's perspectives
  • You'll be able to develop a more co-operative team that works together well
  • Really 'walk your talk'
  • Find more time in your week

What’s this course about?

The Workplace Communication Skills course delivers to you the materials and learnings from the Transforming Communication course.   Transforming Communication is founded on a vision of worldwide training in the use of leading edge skills to create co-operation and resolve conflict.  It was developed by Dr Richard Bolstad based on his book of the same name and the conflict resolution model it teaches draws on NLP, solution focused approaches, effectiveness training and John Gottman's relationship research.

It's about providing you with the skills you need to be able to identify what skills to use in any given situation and then apply the right tools at the appropriate time.  


Would you like a short seminar for your business or organisation?

Start time to suit you

To view the flyer in your browser click here.

To register, click here

If you’d like this seminar delivered in your workplace or organisation, please contact Barbara here.

What people have said about the free seminar:  

“Engaging speaker, concise information of great value.  Kept on task”.  – Eloise Neeley, Northtec

“Great content and excellent delivery of material.  Friendly and welcoming session”.  – RJ, Whangarei

“… reiterated things I’d forgotten or clarified way of explaining them … an easy to follow and understand way of successfully connecting with people”. 

“Clear, concise, engaging”. – J Read, Programme Facilitator, Whangarei

“Gave a very informative presentation explaining in a way easy to understand”.  – Barbara Stainburn

“Barbara is such a clear speaking, approachable presenter who really speaks from the heart and is so authentic in what she is presenting”.  – Deb Wintle

“Informed, pictured, entertained, made sense.  Got to do it”.  – Thomo, Toll Global Express NZ

“The presentation was interesting and well-focused.  It was very relevant to me both professionally and personally at this time and also helped create a deeper understanding of and for my students and further study/.  It is also going to influence my personal teaching practice and has answered some personal questions I have had about successful relationships”.  – Melissa Bayley, Taratahi Agricultural Training Centre, Whangarei

“It helps us not only in our job, but also in our personal improvement/relationships with others”.  – Anna Lim, Taratahi Agricultural Training Centre, Whangarei. 

“Good engagement with audience, kept me interested.  Plenty of great points in a short time frame but there wasn’t too much jammed in that you feel overloaded”.  – M. Pilkington, Whangarei

“Flowed well and engaged well – Barbara presents well with good information.” – Kerry, Taratahi Agricultural Training, Whangarei.

“… Barbara delivered a fantastic enlightening presentation.  Well organised, good information, great food and she has the ability to make you want to learn more.  [Her presentations] will certainly be an asset to both your business and personal life’.  - Sue Mehrtens, Absolute Stainless, Whangarei

She explained complex things in a simple way, giving good and relevant examples.  Kept the talk interesting.  Was good to hear all this in a structured way and makes sense”.  – Rachel Joseph, Northland Regional Council, Whangarei.

“Made me aware that there’s a lot more to conversation than just words”.  – Raymond Pestana, Cactus Liquor, Whangarei.

“Explained a complicated theory in a way we could understand; used awesome teaching techniques to help information stick”.  – Raiha Maunsell, Maunsell Whanau Tutors Ltd, Whg.

“Great content, the pencil analogy was cool in that it broke down every part.  It was interactive”.  – Jason Oliver, Tec Electrical, Ngunguru.

“Awesome presentation had everyone’s attention, great analogies”.  – Helen Fulton, GoFox Electrical, Whangarei.

Presented clearly and engaging - definitely worth it”.  – Kylie, Thomas Online, Whangarei

“Demonstrated what she taught.  I would recommend engaging for both mentoring and professional services”.  – Andre Ducrot, TMG, Whangarei

“The information conveyed to the class was very useful and the way it was delivered was very clear and easy to grasp.  Do it [the seminar] – there is great knowledge to be learned that will be beneficial in any situation”.  – Joseph Waru, Whangarei

“Delivery of message and great examples, easy to follow - good intro to NLP and improving communication”.  – Tam, Whangarei

“Very concise and to the point – used research and painted a picture, more engaging”.  – Sonja Chisnall, Whangarei.

“Brought the subject to life and related to it easily”.  – Tina, Harder EECS, Whangarei

“The way Barbara communicated and engaged the audience today was incredible!  So much information presented in a way that was easy to understand and relate to”.  – KH, Whangarei

“Excellent delivery, engaging and interactive, very interesting and informative for personal and business relationships.  Get in contact with Barbara, you won’t regret it”.  – Jade, Student of CSBM, Northland.  

“A necessity for all businesses and relationships”. – Angela Rihari, Raumanga

“Spoke well and informative content – go its great!”  – Haidee, CSBM, Te Wananga o Aotearoa

“Connects well with audience - easy to understand".  Take notes and record if possible, this will be a life-changing experience”.  – Hui Busby, CSBM, Te Wananga o Aotearoa.

“Fantastic communicator, highly knowledgeable, energetic, uses analogy and makes learning interesting.  Barbara is very realistic of peoples’ needs and understands each individual’s perceptions and requirements to succeed”.  – Lou, Whangarei Natural Health, Whangarei. 

“Well-articulated, speaks clearly and uses stories well to connect with audience.  I love that you use interaction to get the audience to practice and act out learnings”.  – Teresa Watkins, Monster Graphics

What is Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)?

Much of BJ Projects’ coaching and training is based around the skills and tools involved in NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming.  NLP is the study of success and was developed in the 1970’s in the United States of America by Richard Bandler and John Grinder.  

NLP as defined by the Oxford dictionary, in a sentence is:  A system of alternative therapy intended to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and to model and change their patterns of mental and emotional behavior.

So what does all that mean?  Well, as you know, your brain is a vital part of your body and put quite simply, NLP is all about how your thought patterns (the neuro or brain bit) create your feelings, behaviours and actions.  Once we become accustomed to these feelings, behaviours and actions (which occur as a direct result of our thoughts), we create habits (that’s the programming bit).  Our habits then influence how we communicate, and that’s the linguistic (or language) bit of NLP.  However when we refer to communication, it doesn’t just relate to other people, it’s also about how we communicate with ourselves (you know - that's the voice you hear in your head sometimes).  An this then influences our thinking (the neuro- bit) and off we go again.  Pretty much like a thought really …

So how does NLP work?

Some would say that NLP doesn’t work -- it's people that really work. 

Joseph O'Connor in his 'NLP Workbook' gives an excellent account of NLP as a three-minute seminar.  NLP is about three things: 

1.  Knowing your outcome

2.  Having sensory acuity

3.  Flexibility

Knowing your outcome in any situation means that if things aren't going to plan, you know what your direction is and this will guide you on what action needs to be taken.  Sensory acuity is about noticing what you're getting, or what you're not getting.  If you're not getting the results you want, then you need to exercise flexibility.  This is the ability to do something different.  You've heard the quote from Henry Ford. "If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you always got".  BJ Projects focus on NLP is about choices.  If you notice that your results aren't getting you closer to your outcome, then you have a choice to do something different, or keep on doing the same thing.  And continuing to do the same thing is a choice as well!  

Outcome - Acuity - Flexibility.  What would you like to do differently?  


Customised Training

For customised training please contact Barbara to discuss your needs.


Presentations & Talks

Call me to discuss the type of presentation you require.  Topics that I've covered in the past include: 

  • Discover the Confident You
  • Get your Motivation Back on Track
  • Goal Setting
  • How to Listen so People will Talk
  • Procrastination - Why we do it and how to change it
  • Re-ignite your Mojo
  • Seven Secrets to Successful Self-Management
  • Your One-Minute Business Introduction


What others have said about the Transforming Communication course:

“Absolutely do it.  You will learn things you already knew but didn’t ‘know’.  The skills are invaluable providing you use them … the value of reflective listening – so very empowering and the outcomes have floored me”.  – Lynn Freeman

“This course has given me so many different communication tools to use in all areas of life and business - especially communicating to my daughter”.  – Ida-Jean.   

“[The course has given me] The confidence to participate actively in conflict resolution”.  – GT, Manager.

“A modern communication skills course heavily based in NLP.  The 9-week course gives time to practice/reflect as you go.  Not a ‘token’ afternoon course you forget about the next day”.  – Ben Edgar, Blue Nikau Landscape.

“Realisation that I have the skills to engage or facilitate an effective and productive conversation … I have learnt the importance of patience.  By realising this it has opened up the start of healthy conversation between me and my children.”  - Sam Rapana.

“A must do and a life changer”.  – Hira Hemara, Mayhem Painters.

“A course that is empowering and enabling.  It will enhance your life if you apply the skills learned.  It will challenge and change you”.  – Karen Grammer.

“Learning from this course has helped me to become more confident when conversing with others.  I have gained valuable knowledge to better enhance my communication skills.  So, so happy – thank you so much”.  – North Haven Hospice Retail.

“My relationship with my 5-year old daughter is stronger, just through me listening and taking another look at things.  I had no expectations when starting this course but I am pleased I started.  Communication is a life skill that should be taught at schools”.  – North Drill Limited.

“[the course was about] Being more aware of how people connect – how to listen, how to reach in different circumstances and being aware of others’ values”.  – Te Whareora o Tikipunga.

“I thought I was a good communicator before however the course has influenced me to change the way I interact with people.  I’m using the skills all of the time in all areas of my life as they relate to and influence all aspects of my communication. Upgrading my skills has changed the way I listen and helped me to help my friends and family in amazing ways, which have been invaluable to me and to them.  When I communicate with staff I now know how to assert myself and I can listen to them too and get a win-win outcome.  That’s the biggest thing.”  Vicki Ogle, Director & Manager Homekill Services Ltd & Your Fresh Meat Co.

"Do the course – if it can help me it can help anyone – its’ far more than (just) a communication course."  – A. Ogle, Business Owner.

"This course teaches you all the necessary life skills that all other courses/school fails to deliver, ie: how to effectively communicate with each other well."  – I.T., Education sector.

"[You] will discover communication on a different level." – C.C., Service Co-ordinator/Health & Safety.

"A great, practical course that will change your life and relationships."  – M.C., Engineer.

"Sit back, hear her out and find out where/what you can use/improve.  [The course] is a timesaver, quality raiser of communication."  – Bart, Non-Profit Sector.

"Well worth the time and money.  I started the course with a need that by the end became a strong interest that I still want to work on."  – Pip, Occupational Health Nurse Specialist.

"Just get on with it."  – Allan, Operations Manager.

"Life changing.  Best way to learn more about yourself and others."  – N.O., Business Owner.

"It is a very interesting and useful course."  – Sue, Admin/Customer Service.

"Worth it!  It opens your eyes to everything you do and how you can get results that suit you and the people in your life, with making small changes."  – S.C.

"Eye-opening course on the power of knowing how to have amazing communication skills.  Great to learn new skills."  – Lisa, Consultant.

"[It] changes your perspective of what communication really is."  – T.S., Sales. 

“It’s a great way to learn about the way you communicate and it shows you how even little shifts in the way you say things can make a difference to the recipient”.  JN, Business Owner, Whangarei

“Amazing!  It will make you look at how you’ve always done things and see how much better it could be”.  JH, Homebased Childcare

 “The course opens your eyes and ears to a new way of interacting and communicating in every aspect of your personal and business relationships”.  CH, Whangarei

“It’s a great course to understand and practice an effective way of communicating”.  T. H., Whangarei

“If you want to be ‘in’ a conversation, be present and have the ability to influence the communication, then this is the course for you”.  Lisa Halvorson, Business Owner.

 “It changes the way you communicate with other people for the better.  The most significant breakthrough for me was during the ‘I’ statements … I applied it in a real situation and it worked!”  SR, Administration

“TC was exactly what I wanted it to be.  It’s given me a foundation in communication skills I can apply across every aspect of my life.  I feel like I have the tools to get what I want out of life.  … stepping back and reflecting on situations and understanding I can’t fix everything and I don’t need to.  Lian Passmore, Instructional Designer.

“It’s about unlearning habits and learning to communicate on purpose to create, enhance and clam relationships.  I can change conversations by example.”  Stephanie Mitchell, Travel Agent.

“The course is life changing and will enrich every single relationship you ever have.  It will also bring more positivity into your life through the satisfaction of having enlightening conversations.  I have become a better human being from doing this course.”  Vicki Ogle, Homekill Services.

“I’ve been doing this amazing course – it’s been such a journey.  I have learned so much about myself and my communication skills have improved so much.  You should look into this course … Everything has changed for me.”  M, Ryan, Whangarei

“An awesome course to learn new skills for communicating with everyone in your life. You will be amazed at what you didn’t know about how you interact with people.  Thank you Barbara for a great nine weeks of opening new doors in communication.”  C. Harris, Whangarei

“Valuable if you are wanting to improve or learn more effective communication skills which will benefit all aspects of your personal and professional life.  …it’s never too late to change and this course can have such a positive effect on your relationships with others. – D. Sullivan, NorthAble Equipment Plus, Whangarei

“The opportunity to learn about and practice better communication skills at work and at home.  To learn to deal with conflict while maintaining the self-esteem of both people and preserving the relationship.”  - M. W., Whangarei

“Learning to use the skills you already have in a more conscious and productive way.  Finding out about yourself.  …totally enlightening and life changing.  THANK YOU!!  - R. Svenson, Kensington Dental Centre, Whangarei.

“If you want to have close relationships with your family, friends and work colleagues.”  - A. Olsen

“Life and relationship enriching, eye opening and great realisation of how to use sub-conscious skills.  Barbara is a charismatic and skills teacher with great knowledge in this field and awesome enthusiasm!”  - A. Conaghan.

“A great way to learn communication and dealing with conflict”. – Paul, Advisor, Whg.

“It would be most beneficial even if you felt you didn’t need it” – Grant Harrison, Senior Manager, Whg.

“…allows you to reflect on your own communication style/technique … how to have those difficult conversations using a communication strategy that allows everyone to retain their mana” – Bronwyn, Practice Manager, Whg.

“A really beneficial experience …” – Stu, Manager, Whg.

“Very informative and makes you think about how you communicate and interact with people”.  Tamara, Regional Director's Assistant, Whg.

“Well worth doing – great learnings …”  - Joey, Community Sport Advisor, Whg.

“Good for using in your life skill toolbox”. – Roxanne, Team Leader, Whg.

“The most influential course as a manager and husband and father that one could participate in”.  Steve, Manager, Whg.

"I was engaged 100% of the time ... has added value to my everyday life..."  Alan, Whg.

"A great opportunity to stop and think about the interactions you have with the people around you; to understand what is happening and how you can get better outcomes for you, the people around you, and make life simpler."  Carol, Auckland

"Loved it! Well worth it - would really recommend it as the skills help not only in business situations but in all aspects of life.  Would thoroughly recommend couples do it".  Sue, Whg.

“ … broadened my understanding of how other people see the world and why we say/do the things we do … extremely helpful and beneficial.  I would recommend this to everyone willing to learn more about people”.  Cassidy, Team Leader, Whg.

“Well worth doing for any age in any position”. – Simon, Manager, Whg.

"I could use the knowledge I gained immediately at home and at work".  ET, Whg.

"Life changing.  Whole new perspective on communication ..."  Steve, Whg.

"...great course to help with conflicts and understanding how people work and think.  Will make you think twice with how you deal with situations".  AH, Whg.

"...allows you to navigate around problems/situations which otherwise may have created conflict.  Problems in the workplace are dealt with well and the course allows you to create a more harmonious work and home environment ... opened a world to me which I didn't realise was there ..."    Kevin, Director, Auckland

“It is packaged well … provides a range of skills and insight to assist in getting positive outcomes in difficult situations ...”  Robert, Manager, Whg..

“A useful skill set to have at your disposal when dealing with real world situations in the workplace”.  RC, Manager, Whg.
“Well presented and good group participation.  Barbara did a great job of presenting her course content in an easy to understand manner.”  George, Manager,   Whg.
“You will use the skills in everyday life – both at work and at home and know how to resolve conflict problems without taking them all on yourself.  It was explained well and doing examples helped…”  Craig, Manager, Maungaturoto.
“Barbara made me feel at ease with the class room  environment.  It is very worthwhile and I have learned a lot about myself”.  GD, Manager, Whg.
“Life changing!  My confidence has increased in all   areas of my life.  I now look forward to communicating instead of burying my head in the sand”.  Taryn, Manager, Whg.

“ of the most important set of skills you can learn…”  - AT, Whg.
“It has changed my whole outlook on how to communicate …”   - LD, Whg.